Chai Or Coffee?

He always craved “Tapri wali Chai” and I always wanted to sip Americano. I sometimes wonder, If I could time travel and change the end of our story. It was special, beautiful yet clumsy.
That was our day out, first we would go to have Tapri wali chai and then he would sip latte with me. I am always confused between Americano, Cappuccino and Latte, but he was accurate about his choices, same happened with our love story.
Well, that is a different story to tell, but this is about our choices. I remember, it was August and in the pleasant weather last year, we were struggling with our confused minds, decisions and were discussing it over the phone. We ended up with the thought of planning our last trip together and deciding what to do next.
It has been a long one year since that trip and August is already round the corner, what you call it? Break up anniversary? However, even after a year, nothing has changed much, I am still not sure what I love more, Chai or Coffee?
I remember the last expression on his face, like he was asking me, whether we should move ahead or move on?
I looked at him and trust me with every heavy breath that we took, It was more tough and unbalanced. I remember everything in detail, as I still couldn’t decide what exactly made the ways apart. Was it the City, I lived in or the new project coming on my way.
He was always patient about me and my work timings, but was I being patient with him is still a question.
I made some weird gestures, asking him what the deal was and why he was so unhappy about it, we could still be friends, but what made it more weird was “You would be apart and I know your fickle mind nature.”
He was being pessimistic but being honest, I do have a fickle mind and different kinds of emotions at a time. Now since he spoke out loud about it, my head burst into a roller coaster of emotions, I know I am the wrong one, but knowing it from him, makes the roller coaster of sad emotions 100 times more.
Suddenly, coffee and Chai seemed such frivolous beings. Over the next few days, I imagined a life without him, without his presence at all, we were in touch after multiple fights and aggressive chats since the past one year, but this time it is a permanent wreck.
I see everything fade away, my bucket list places with him, my weird fantasies, my hiking plans, he cooking for me, as I hate cooking.
On the other hand, I imagined a life here, alone, where I would be a successful writer, a full time coffee drinker, an extrovert and meeting new people without any attached emotions.
I am always this bad at making new friends, but always end up knowing a lot of people, I am liked by all, loved by none.
And very soon, almost instantly, I knew I’d be over these thoughts and choose my daily routine over the guilt and the past. I am mean and selfish.

I think, that was a wise decision, for I knew, if I’d wake up one day next to him leaving everything beside, I would regret, even a tiny bit, I would do that, which would be a disaster years later and that, I was not okay with.
So, we parted ways without tears in that last vacation, we ended with a kiss for our own betterment, I ended by choosing myself.
It’s not a long distance relationship, you see — it’s one where the hearts came closer and ways separated.
He’s now out of sight and life, and I’m here a year later, sipping my Americano, the choice has been made, I choose Coffee over Chai.